Ahuru Lodge Recovery Retreat is a beautiful environment in which to pursue your decision to lead a drug and alcohol free life - call us
on 0800 1AHURU (0800 124 878) or +64 211 1AHURU (+64 211 124878) for more information.
Ahuru Lodge
LOVED ONES
“I really thought he'd change after I walked out last time”
Many family members feel powerless and hopeless after what sometimes amounts to years of hurt and broken promises. A multitude of threats, ultimatums, arguments and heartfelt assurances have all amounted to the same thing - no change, or worse - short periods of hope followed by yet more disappointment.
“If she loved me she'd stop, wouldn't she?”
It's not something about which you need to feel alone or ashamed, an estimated 15% of New Zealand families deal with a drinking or drug-affected member. It's not about how much they love you; it's an illness over which they have decreasing levels of control. Like any illness, the best solution is to seek professional treatment. A good treatment facility should offer an evidence-based treatment modality, a supportive, nurturing environment and complete confidentiality for the client and their family.
What To Do
DO have hope, people can and do recover once they are shown how.
DON'T blame yourself, people don't 'cause' others' drug or alcohol problems.
DO stop covering up mistakes or making excuses for the individual, you are helping them when you require they face the consequences of their actions.
DON'T try to talk to your loved one when they are under the influence or after an argument. Choose a time when they are calm and repentant to raise your concerns.
DO find out about appropriate treatment services, so you have the information ready when your loved one indicates they are ready to seek help.
DO talk to us. We may be able to offer help or guidance in addressing your specific situation.
How to Identify a 'Problem'
There are specific criteria for substance dependence which indicate whether you have a problem or not. The 'Big Two' which constitute red flags are Intermittent Loss of Control and Adverse Consequences.
Intermittent loss of control refers to sporadic or frequent occasions where the individual consumes larger amounts OR for a longer duration than was intended.
Adverse consequences refer to continued use of the substance despite knowledge of a problem that has been caused or exacerbated by the substance use. Such a problem is typically health-related, legal, relationship or work oriented.
If you have experienced EITHER intermittent loss of control or adverse consequences - the chances are you have a substance dependence problem which requires assessment and treatment. Remember that dependence is an illness which is progressive. That is, it only gets worse over time, never better. People rarely, if ever experience spontaneous reversal of their dependence without intervention and treatment.